[FR] SATs

So I'm taking the SATs again tomorrow. I'm so freaking nervous, even though it's my second time taking the test, it still intimidates me. I have terrible studying habits and perform even worse on high pressure tests, yet that is what is expected of competitive students. While I feel out of my element I will take the test anyways seeing as that is what most people do to prove themselves worthy of a specific college.

For some reason I've never even though about going to a Community College until recently. The allure of a 4 year college with big campuses and large lecture halls have always been my idea of what should happen after High School. The exciting dorm life surrounded by people that I have never met before is constantly pulling me towards that direction. The independent - ish lifestyle that goes as a package deal when you go to a UC or some other big school is what I need.

Now I am at the very door steps to college and I'm more nervous than ever. UC's have been getting harder and harder to get into. I used to be extremely confident with my UC placement, but now comparing myself, on paper, with many other peers I'm so far behind. Sadly I place at like 51% of my class which doesn't look good at all.  With the increases to college admissions my parents are encouraging me to go to a community college simply for the cost, and I am seriously concerned over this. I really want to experience the 4 year college experience, yet I don't want to put my family in a financial bind.

While I don't want to give up on my dream, I can't let my family suffer just because I want to experience something. I will still apply to my favorite UC's, but sadly, more than ever now, I am becoming okay with the idea of being denied. That scares me.