[FR] SATs

So I'm taking the SATs again tomorrow. I'm so freaking nervous, even though it's my second time taking the test, it still intimidates me. I have terrible studying habits and perform even worse on high pressure tests, yet that is what is expected of competitive students. While I feel out of my element I will take the test anyways seeing as that is what most people do to prove themselves worthy of a specific college.

For some reason I've never even though about going to a Community College until recently. The allure of a 4 year college with big campuses and large lecture halls have always been my idea of what should happen after High School. The exciting dorm life surrounded by people that I have never met before is constantly pulling me towards that direction. The independent - ish lifestyle that goes as a package deal when you go to a UC or some other big school is what I need.

Now I am at the very door steps to college and I'm more nervous than ever. UC's have been getting harder and harder to get into. I used to be extremely confident with my UC placement, but now comparing myself, on paper, with many other peers I'm so far behind. Sadly I place at like 51% of my class which doesn't look good at all.  With the increases to college admissions my parents are encouraging me to go to a community college simply for the cost, and I am seriously concerned over this. I really want to experience the 4 year college experience, yet I don't want to put my family in a financial bind.

While I don't want to give up on my dream, I can't let my family suffer just because I want to experience something. I will still apply to my favorite UC's, but sadly, more than ever now, I am becoming okay with the idea of being denied. That scares me.

[CE] Protest

This report brings about familiar feelings within me. I'm not going to lie and spout that I came up with the phrase, "All these countries are rising up, fighting for their education, but when are we going to?" I've been clearly brainwashed by Mr. Sutherland, but in all honesty I have done nothing to show my concern for the turns my educational future seem to be taking. 

As a student, I'm jumping through all of these hoops that I'm being told to jump through. I believe because I havn't been fully exposed to it. Currently I am trying to make the most of what I have. At this point in my life  I see that focusing on school work, which takes up much more time then others would assume, gives instant rewards( ie good grades).

I feel like Protesting is the main things someone like me would be able to do, and at this point I don't see how I could muster up the time and effort needed to be behind that. When I've asked a couple of my friends how they would feel to protest with me, they told that they felt as if they wouldn't make a difference. This constant reply has really brought my spirits down, and sadly I'm starting to agree with them. Unless we can muster up a nations worth of action, I feel as if my efforts will be easily squandered.

While I believe education is something that needs serious reforming, I am lost as to what I can do, without hindering my own educational competitiveness, to change our educational system for the better.

Just the begining

I'm sure many of you are already aware of the protests and marches on March 4th. Sutherland, a handful of his students, and I went to the gathering in Oakland's city hall. I tried my best to try to document everything that stood out or was important to me. While at the same time adding my own thoughts and whatever was running through my head at the time. This current part is straight from my notes that were taken on the day without any doctoring besides grammar and spelling issues. This first blog is just a prequel to the actual happenings of the protest. There is just so much that went down it couldn't all be processed in one night, unlike several newspapers have. This is mainly my own personal thoughts of the morning of March 4 until I get off the bus.
Before: I am really nervous about this whole ordeal. In the back of my head i hear myself saying that it (the protest) could turn violent, that its not worth the risk. It's definitely worth it. A good education is worth ever risk. After all nothing gets accomplished by being passive as events move around you. It's about time I get active in something that will determine how my future will turn out.
This in itself is a whole new learning experience for me. I am so used to reading about such amazing changes, but have never actually participated in anything. I've never dreamed of going to a protest so early in my life, but right now I am questioning why i haven't done so earlier. I'm excited to take in and learn so much from this event. I'll also get first hand witness to observe human behavior (which i am fascinated in) in a crowd of such a mass but also at a youthful moment in life. Overall my feelings are curious and excited, but i also know to be weary and feel a bit nervous.
Bus: I met with what seems to be the group from AHS, sadly it's not an abundance of people as i hoped it would be. I envisioned at least 30 people from our school, it seems as if no one cares. The people who have decided to show up are mainly girls. Although i was not completely alone in gender as one other boy came. From what i can see none of us has brought any signs, banners, or megaphones. Perhaps that's an illusion that movies make?( boy was i wrong. There were actually dozens of clever signs that made me grin or chuckle) We had alot of cameras though, awesome. Hopefully we will be able to catch a lot of what is going down over there, and perhaps inspire other people to get involved once they see what the environment is like. Our group isn't as lively as the raging protesters in my head act. I expect that to change once we get pumped at the rally. I'm curious to hear peoples thoughts and opinions about what is going on. Currently it seems to be a number game with several people mass texting there phone books to tell people to come. I also tried to encourage people to join us, but like many of the others i failed to do so. I'm excited to see the turn out when we reach the actual event.
Next post will be solely focused on the events as seen through my eyes.